After God's own heart

I would say that this aspect of a diligent leader is probably the most important. A man or woman who has given themselves to know God and what He is like will be able to give that understanding and revelation to others and feed them. That is exactly how I want it to go in my life. I want to be so ingrained with Scripture that it just simply flows out of me in the words I speak and the actions I do. I want others to be encouraged by my life in the way I pursue God with all of my heart. Being one of the weakest people I know, I'm certain that others can live by my example and excel way beyond.

"Unity occurs when we approach relationships with a free spirit that asks for God's will, regardless of where it may lead the people under us" - Mike Bickle. As I've read more of Scripture and have begun to understand the heart of God in terms of leadership, this statement that Mike said is something I highly value. When it comes to unity, I'm fully on board in agreeing with whatever the Lord would want to do. I believe that love that comes through agreeing in God's plan is a stronger love than community that revolves around food, activities, and similar hobbies.

Serving for the good of others

Even before I allowed Christ to rule over my life, this characteristic: "Serve for the good of others" has been impressed on my heart. In fact, it never made sense to me why people would decide to forsake the camaraderie of another person in order to be an "individual". Serving others should naturally produce a love for the people we're serving and the response will come from both God and man. God will reward what was done in the secret of our hearts and the person who is being served will honor the leader.

So I've recently updated my ministry placement with Literacy Kansas City by accepting a 2nd student. This man is 57 years old and has had a rough life. He has a prosthetic leg, almost blind in one eye, has diabetes, came out of alcohol within the past 2 years, and on top of it all he can't read above a 2nd grade level. He recently switched from a presbyterian church to a pentecostal church because they're more "lively", non-traditional, and they lay hands on him. I think he made the switch because he knows his life has slowed down and he's humbled by his age and health condition. He may be looking for a hope that will free him but I'm not sure how much he's willing to lay down for Jesus. I'm not saying that as an assessment, but as a question.

"Leaders have a teachable spirit"
This can be quite difficult at times. I believe a teachable spirit is absolutely critical in keeping a humble spirit. I realize I'm so quick to respond defensively or resistantly in my heart at times and I don't want that. I like how Mike views criticism as a free research team, but in the heat of the moment I would rather accuse someone of being wrong. I have had times where I'm proud that I responded in gentleness and humility when being accused of wrongdoing, but there has been other times where I totally got enraged in my heart towards another person. Out of those situations gentleness, humility, and truth allowed open doors to bring a relationship closer and make it pure. I know that may sound very vague, but I have a specific memory that is too personal to simply write on a blog for anyone to see.

Since this last quarter has opened up opportunities to pour into my ministry placement, I've gotten a second person who I will be tutoring now. I'm a bit nervous about it. Even though the new student is about the same reading level as my current student he is still a different person. Thus, I'll have to spend some time in understanding the way he thinks and compensate for that.

I believe that my tutoring follows the Lead Diligently section of "doing what needs to be done." However, I really want to be more diligent in my preparation time for each lessons. Since this quarter of school has opened up some extra free time, it'll be a good use of my time to analyze and fine tune my lesson plans which I'm looking forward to. 

While reading the section on "persevering through difficult" in the "Lead Diligently" chapter, the phrase came to mind: Being radical is not a short-term zeal, but decades of faithfulness. The idea to be faithful and endure for decades brings a resolve that I want to be pleasing to the Lord. I know the way He measures relationship and being faithful in the areas of holiness, prayer, fasting, etc. will bring me nearer to His heart which is all I need.

In the chapter of Truth and Transformation, I got a little confused how Mangalwadi connected the compassion of Jesus to our present day context and how we'll experience the same pattern as Jesus. I understand that because of His kind acts that went against the "Establishment" of the Pharisees, it got Him killed. However, I don't see how that would really play out the same way especially in our cultural of tolerance in America...

Eternal Rewards

I loved the point Mike makes that leaders must have an eternal perspective in order to lead. Recently this has become very clear as I've begun to understand the plans and purposes that the Lord has in place with the rewards He has to give. It's because of this revelation that allows me to be strengthened in my every day life.

As for Mangalwadi's book, chapter 5 didn't really have any extra insight that I didn't already know. America is at a state where we are tolerant towards sin and the consequences of sin, but intolerant towards anything that might offend people. Other than that, it was kind of a confusing chapter. First, he hits on America's state and then immediately switches to the Isaiah passages. At the end he ties it together but it wasn't really a strong tie.

Small beginnings

"It is important that we are diligent in the assignments that are small and that go unnoticed by others" - Mike Bickle. I understand the promise of God to those who are faithful: "To those who are faithful over a few things will rule over many" - Mt. 25:21. The biggest tension with this is the longing to be great. I want to be noticed, but I understand the necessity to do things in secret. God simply wants my eyes on Him alone and to live under His approval in what I do. In light of my tutoring ministry, the Lord said the exact same passage from Mt. 25 reminding me that this is true faithfulness. Teaching a person how to get to know the Man (through reading) is very important to Him. It's given me a renewed strength to focus my tutoring times in teaching the Bible while also teaching how to read.

The 4th chapter in Truth and Transformation was astounding. The whole story with Sheela and the way her parents viewed her was troubling, upsetting, frustrating, and a mix of many more emotions. I'm glad that the author brought it back around to the point that what Sheela's parents did is no different than abortion. The same thought process is behind both of their actions, its just 1 of them is hidden while the other is not. I recently read some information that said people don't have any memories before the age of 2 or 4 years old. I thought to myself, "Well, since they don't remember anything before that time, it's as if they never lived it right? So you could kill a baby at age 2 and it wouldn't change anything in that babies life." (I am speaking from the perspective of a non-Christian). That kind of thought process scares me into thinking that it's possible that America could end up killing living babies. That is why we need our minds renewed (within the church and outside) to see the dignity and value of human beings in God's sight.

Taking risks & Tutoring

Oh man, each of these Lead Diligently qualities are contrary to the way I've been brought up... including taking risks. There's been little need for me to assert myself when I can do the bare minimum to get me by. However, I know how Jesus works and he requires nothing less than the best. I can't think of any moments in which I've taken initiative in the Christian or Biblical context, but I can definitely tell the difference between the man 3 years ago compared to today. The Lord has revealed through the cross that taking risks are painful, scary, and rewarding. Though Jesus was so kind in doing the unthinkable, He still can't make our decisions for us. The risk for Jesus is that there is no guarantee that He can receive love from us.

As I've been tutoring my student, she has been improving quite a bit. Recently she was showing me that she was trying to read 2 Kings in the Bible but couldn't understand it for very long (the Hebrew or ancient names completely threw her off). Her goal is to be able to read the Psalms and Proverbs. So far we've read Psalms 1 and 2, in which I was feeling the Spirit on them as I had to read slowing =) One of the challenges I've faced with my student is when I ask her to summarize 1 or 2 verses. She doesn't interpret the passage for what it means, but she makes it say whatever she wants to make it say. So 1 of 2 things are happening: 1) It's hard for her to read context, therefore she can't grasp the storyline of the passage or 2) That's how she's been taught to understand the Bible. All that to say, I'm hoping to pull away from the Psalms and get into the narrative story of Jesus so that she reads the context and interprets the Bible with simple understanding.

Truth and Transformation

I've read through the first five chapters so far and it has been a great book to read. I like the simple logic he is able to bring to the table concerning America and it's current state because of the contrasting experiences he has had in India. However, there's a point I'm not sure I totally agree with. He relates the prosperity of America to the foundations of morals it was built upon. Though our constitution had biblical principles in them, it is not Christ-centered (which is what I would imagine to be the way to receive blessing from God). Therefore, the fall of America isn't because we're losing Christ (but that is true within the church) but we are simply casting off the restraints to enjoy any manner of pleasure which we choose.

On another note concerning the book, I loved the story of Sheela, but not the tragic death that resulted from that. As a result of Mangalwadi's experience with Sheela, both he and Ruth have decided to save any children by any means necessary and give them a home. Though I've grown up most of my life detached of justice, I've become more aware that I care more about the wrong things being right than I imagined. Particularly when it comes to women and young children. Because of the daily pains that women and children face in the streets of America, I have had a growing desire to go into law enforcement or become a judge. I would like to be in the position of Solomon who asked for wisdom to lead a great nation. I want wisdom to save the oppressed from their slavery by either decision-making or physical deliverance from a situation.

Having a vision and a purpose

While reading the small section of Vision and Purpose in the Lead Diligently chapter, I thought of Bobby Taylor. While having D-group with him last semester, he gave clear vision for our group every week. You could tell that he was set on his own track with the way he talked about his goals and purposes in life. While being under his leadership for a time, I was blessed to see how the power of a focused vision impacts someone each week.

This is probably one of the toughest areas of the 7 commitments for me to go after. I've been able to live most of my life by doing the bare minimum and I would get by quite easily. However, after being a Christian for some time, I've realized it doesn't work that way with God. It's especially difficult for me to grasp these 2 facts of the Christian life at any given time: 1) Love God wholeheartedly (whilst putting off the old man) and 2) Resting in Christ and taking on His burden and His yoke. I understand HOW those work, but when life comes around day by day I'm doing one or the other in an extreme way that either causes me to burn out or be too relaxed in my devotion to Christ.

I feel like in order for me to grow in this, I have to lead small groups. I'm not sure why, but I think its because of the pressure and accountability I would have while leading a small group that would cause me to be constantly reminded of my purpose. As a student, I'm more of the follower doing my duty of homework, but if I lead a small group I would feel the duty to lead therefore causing me to be more aware of my future vision and purpose.